There is a cheesy old book called "Raising a Modern Day Knight". In this book it lays out a very clear definition of masculinity to teach your kids. A few years ago I wrote a little about this idea of passivity and it's been on my mind.
In my mind, this is one of the most difficult things that a man can struggle with. Passivity is defined as "accepting or allowing what happens or what others do, without active response or resistance". Now, there is a lot that I have to say about this idea of passivity. However, this is about being a man. As a man, rejecting passivity is a daily occurrence. Every single day, the urge is there to be passive and just let life float right by me. Go with the flow. Don't make waves, right. You know what's funny about passivity? Inherent in the idea of passivity is the active choice of avoiding resistance.
That's what being passive is. You are choosing to avoid resistance. Things are happening in your own life and in the life of those around you and instead of engaging and cultivating like you are equipped and called to do, as a man should, you tuck tail and avoid or pass the buck to someone else. Rather than meet the resistance that comes from cultivating, teaching, and challenging yourself and others, you become a wuss.
Here's what's funny about being a dude. We actually prefer to reject passivity, as long as it simulates a battle we can see. Most men are prone to rise up and take on challenges that require us to exert physical effort that yield measurable results. We will work ourselves into the ground so that we can make extra money and “provide a comfortable living” for our family. We will take on projects around the home that will “add value” and increase equity. We will stay up late and learn new skills from YouTube so that we can save money repairing a leaky faucet or changing the alternator in our car. These are all good things. When a man exerts his will upon a problem and uses his God given gifts to bring about a solution the Lord is honored in that. But in regards to biblical manhood, those are moments of low-hanging fruit. Let’s face it. It is easy and natural for us, men, to exert our will upon a problem that is tangible or yields tangible results. Usually, passivity is not our problem when the call to action involves a car to fix, a remodel to the house, a second job, or even a ministry related problem to solve. A man that engages these things is a good man but let's be honest, the things that require us to exert our will upon our bodies is easy compared to things that require us to exert our will upon our hearts. Even more so, the task of leading others to do the same.
In my humble manly opinion, this is the sticking point for us as husband's, dad's, employees. Cultivating, teaching, and leading is a challenge in and of itself. It carries an extra weight when you consider that a fallen and broken individual, a man, is charged by God to reject passivity by providing, protecting, and preaching to his family. Then because we reject passivity in our own hearts we call others to do so. We encounter resistance everywhere. We resist ourselves. Our loved ones resist us. The world resists us. In fact, if nobody is resisting you then your probably doing it wrong. But it still hurts. It still grinds on your every nerve when you are making every effort to cultivate, teach, lead your family and others to something beautiful that seems just out of reach at every turn. But that's the job fellas. And the sanctifying grind of it all will pay dividends in your heart as time goes on.
Like my bestie said, we are called to fight not necessarily win. Sometimes, the win is just that you tried. Trust the Spirit to be the Spirit and keep at it. Reject passivity in your own heart every day. Yes, lift, roll, and work hard at your job. But don't forget, those things are the low hanging fruit. The real battle is engaging yourself and others with truth and love in a way that breaths spiritual life into others. Manhood defined for your son.
A man rejects passivity.
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