I had coffee with a buddy yesterday. We have different personalities and different belief systems but similar interests. We ended up talking a little bit about boomer's being hyper critical, people who are judgmental and critical of others. He made a point that I found very insightful. Did you know that our brain can give us a little dopamine hit when we are critical of others? It's truly an insidious erosion of ones own heart. When we are critical or judgmental of others we instinctually place ourselves as their superior in some form or fashion. Brain then goes...feel that...feels good doesn't it. Who doesn't want more dopamine? Next thing you know your judgy mcjudgerson all the time and walk around with your nose in the air.
Hmmm...big pivot here. You ever been around someone that constantly has something to say about people? They're like a dripping faucet of negativity that is always able to find something they do not like about someone. You know the person. When they're feeling generous they'll say something nice about the person but the critique is right on the heels of the nicety. I've had seasons of being this person. I've went years being this person. It is very easy for me to slip into viewing the world with a critical spirit. When I was in my early 20's, I called it the gift of discernment. But really I was just an angry little shit that developed a talent for focusing on people and systems rather than myself. (this is probably the main idea)
Life is so hard at times. Maybe it's just me but I doubt it. The seasons of life that I find myself being hyper critical is usually because i'm not doing work on myself. I truly believe that the Holy Spirit cultivates personal responsibility. That means you spend more time looking at your own sins instead of the sins of others. It doesn't mean that you never speak the truth in love or seek to restore a brother or be passive toward sin. It means you understand that your personal holiness is more important than pointing out the unholiness of others.
While reading this, I wager that your brain has thought of someone with that critical spirit. Maybe consider yourself first? Take some time to ruminate and consider how this applies to your own heart before thinking of others. Do you have a critical spirit? How often do you walk away from people and have something negative to stay? Do you look across the table at your spouse and only see their sin or the things that you don't like? Do you see a crowd of people and cringe at all the losers you see? Maybe consider that there are some extraordinary people in that crowd?
If you are like me, a critical spirit in recovery, then you know life is so much better with a loving heart directed at people. It doesn't mean you go soft on others because I definitely do not. It doesn't mean that you never speak the truth in love to others or seek to restore a brother or call a bestie out on their sin. But it does mean your posture towards people is completely different. And your goal is about their holiness and not your need to be superior or right. The Holy Spirit will cultivate personal responsibility in you for your good if you are willing. So maybe let the Spirit do that in your brothers and sisters as well? Consider what that means for your interactions with them. The Lord is with you.
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